


Undisclosed Desires

by Hildigunnur



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sports, Community: kbl-reversebang, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, figure skating AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 23:16:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2086845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hildigunnur/pseuds/Hildigunnur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine Anderson's only intention with changing skating clubs and coaches, was to better his chances of winning medals. But he finds himself drawn to his new club's star skater and his rival on the ice, Kurt Hummel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undisclosed Desires

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the [KBL reversabang](http://kblreversebang.tumblr.com/). The art is by the very lovely [Mizu Kandeya](http://mizuirokandeya.tumblr.com/) who was a joy to work with. The fic was beta-ed by the formidable Sarka (and all remaining mistakes are mine).
> 
> And of course a disclaimer: The characters in this work are not mine but belong to Ryan Murphy and Co.
> 
> There is a glossary of skating terms and more extensive notes in [this post](http://hildigunnur.dreamwidth.org/559690.html) at my DreamWidth.
> 
> Note that Finn's death is briefly mentioned in this fic.

 

As he entered the rink, Blaine was greeted with a big, red banner that read "Home of The Titans". The banner was strung on the wall facing the entrance and underneath it was a smaller one which went: "McKinley Skating Club – Home of US National figure skating champions Kurt Hummel and Rachel Berry and the main training site of Korean figure skating champions and Olympic Bronze medalists, Tina Cohen-Chang and Mike Chang." Though this wasn't news to him, it amused him that someone uninitiated would think that Kurt and Rachel were a pairs team.

If only they were a pairs team; then Blaine's nerves wouldn't be wound tight like strings on a fiddle – and then he would be the only one training here in his discipline at the elite level.

The McKinley Skating Club wasn't much different from any other ice rink he'd been at. In his hand was a key to a locker he'd been given and all he needed to do was to dump his bag in there and put on the skates.

There was music coming from the ice, echoing like it always did inside of skating halls. It was Lady Gaga, not a song he could put a name to, and instead of heading to the locker room, his feet carried him seemingly of their own accord to the rink’s side. Through the electronic beat of the song he could hear the song of the ice when blades chip and cut through it. Someone was on the ice.

It turned out to be Kurt Hummel, practicing a step-sequence that looked like it belonged in a short program. He was graceful as ever but Blaine had never seen him extend himself like he was doing right then, bending backwards, sliding forwards with one leg extended and the other bent. In fact, Blaine was sure he'd never seen a move like that on the ice before. And then Kurt rose up with ease and kept skating forwards with steps that reminded Blaine of the tango.

This was far from being the first time Blaine had seen Kurt skate. A long time ago, when he was merely a juvenile, not yet having mastered a double jump, he’d seen a video of Kurt from Nationals where he was competing as a novice. Blaine had been struck by how good that eleven year old was; only a year older than him and managing the most gorgeous double axel – double toe combination along with some amazing footwork that Blaine felt an elite skater could be proud of.

Since that day he had followed Kurt Hummel's career, which had been remarkable for the fact that Kurt became a junior world champion before his sixteenth birthday and now at twenty he was a two-time national champion. The many downs that had also marked Kurt's career weren’t something Blaine liked to think about. He rather wanted to think about Kurt's inspiring routines and maybe Kurt's amazing physique, though he would never admit that to anyone. He had totally worn sunglasses the day he went to the store to pick up the Body issue of ESPN Magazine that had featured Kurt's naked form, tastefully silhouetted in black and white so all one could see was Kurt's back and wonderfully curved ass.

Kurt kept skating for a bit and Blaine kept watching him. While his former training mates back at the Dalton Skating Club had all been adequate skaters they were nowhere near being at Kurt's level, even if Sebastian had claimed he was.

The music changed from the upbeat Lady Gaga to something instrumental and sad. It wasn't anything that Blaine recognized but apparently it wasn't the right music for Kurt, since he stopped the moves he'd been making and skated towards the booth situated at the side of the rink, opposite from where Blaine was standing. Grabbing his music player, Kurt stopped the music and seemed to be in search of something else to skate to. Blaine supposed it was his cue to leave and get himself ready for his first practice session; Coach Sylvester was meeting him shortly. As he turned to leave the rink side the skates dangling from his hand knocked the barrier, causing Kurt to look up and straight at him. A look of confusion spread over his face, his brows furrowing ever so slightly. Putting aside the music player he skated to the middle of the ice.

"Hey, Anderson, right? What are you doing here?" The tone of Kurt's voice wasn't unfriendly but the hesitation in it was obvious.

"Uhm," Blaine began, not knowing how to answer, now that it was clear to him that Kurt hadn't been informed about him starting to train at McKinley. "I... I switched clubs and coaches, I'm going to be training here now."

"What!?" The tone of Kurt's voice rose, almost to a screech. "No, no. That can't be... they would have asked... I can't be skating with a rival. What the hell?"

Blaine didn't say anything... he didn't know how to react to this. He had signed contracts with McKinley and with Coach Sylvester and Coach Schuester and he wasn't about to back down from those simply because his favorite skater might not want him around.

"Can you please leave?" Kurt's voice had softened again as he turned to skate away.

At least Blaine could oblige him in that.

* * *

Coach Sylvester was a very tall and imposing woman. Apparently she had stopped competing at the age of fourteen. 'I shot up a whole foot almost overnight, a slight overdose of human growth hormone - they were legal in those days. But my balance was off, so instead I started telling other people how to skate.' At least that was what it said on her website. And telling people how to skate was something she was good at. As evidenced by the success of her skaters, Kurt, Rachel and the Koreans.

"So Anderson, what are your aspirations?"

"Just what all skaters dream of. Champion titles. Medals."

"Yeah, yeah. I mean your goals on the ice. What do you want to achieve so you can set yourself apart?" Coach Sylvester was looking impatiently at him, a hand on her hip.

"Uhm, a consistent quad flip?"

"If you’re going to say it like it’s a question, I can guarantee you'll never land one. But very good, I can work with that. You do have a decent flip and have the quad toe down okay."

"Okay," Blaine said, looking up at her as they stood in the hallway outside the men’s locker room. "But Hummel... earlier he wasn't very happy with me being here."

"Oh, Porcelain can be touchy at times but he needs someone like you to give him a kick in the behind. He internalizes everything so much. Maybe having you here might actually draw him out."

Footsteps came down the hallway, obviously someone walking in their skates with the blade guards on.

"Sue, Sue, we need to talk." Kurt came stalking towards them.

"Hmm, if you say so."

"What’s he doing here? Why wasn't I asked?" Kurt was standing before them but even on his blades he didn't match Coach Sylvester in height.

"Apart from giving you a bit of motivation and him an opportunity to learn something new?"

"Motivation? Are you serious? Having a rival here will only be a distraction, Sue. A distraction I really really don't need this season, if I'm going to prove that I'm still able to earn a medal."

"He's not that cute, Porcelain, I think you can manage not to swoon and fall over."

As Kurt huffed indignantly Blaine felt the heat rise up his face. He’d been pretty sure in which direction Kurt swung but having Coach Sylvester say it like that, that was something else.

"I can't believe this. And I can't believe Will agreed to this. I'm going to find him." The foot steps echoed as Kurt turned away. When he had turned a corner, Coach Sylvester looked at Blaine.

"Oh, it was Schuester's idea to invite you to come and skate here."

* * *

Blaine's first session went without a hitch. They were going easy on him, of course, seeing how did he with the elements required of an elite skater. But this was the only time he was going to have both coaches to himself and the ice as well. After that he was supposed to share his ice time with at least one of the athletes and teams training here: Kurt of course, Tina and Mike, the Korean team, and then Rachel Berry and her pairs partner, Elliott Gilbert.

It's Rachel and Elliott who are present at the first joint session. If Blaine thought Kurt was unhappy, that was nothing compared to Rachel's reaction.

He had barely stepped onto the ice, when something considerably smaller than him came flying towards him over the ice, spraying him with ice shavings as it came to an halt. This particular force of nature was a very furious looking Rachel Berry.

"Who are you? Why are you on my ice? Are you a spy? You are not from the Carmel Skating Club, are you? I'll let you know that..." she kept going, rapid fire, accusing him of everything from being a spy to a paparazzo to a member of the ISU who had it out for her.

During her rant, her partner skated lazily over to them, stopping behind her with an amused look on his face. As she took a breather, he placed his hand on her shoulder and said, "are you done, Rachel? You know who this is, right?"

"I certainly do not know..."

But Elliott interrupted her by sticking his right hand out to Blaine.

"Hey, Blaine. Nice to see you here. So are you here for a visit or did you transfer here?"

Blaine grasped Elliott's hand, feeling his firm and strong grip. He had barely met Elliott before but was comforted by his friendliness.

"I just transferred. Had to come here if I wanted to do something with my skating career."

"I hear you. You were assigned to Skate America, like us, right?"

Blaine nodded. As thrilled as he was with getting two assignment for his first senior Grand Prix, he had the tough job of competing at his latter assignment only a couple of weeks after his first.

"And yeah, you must excuse Rachel. You'll get used to her though."

Rachel harrumphed next to Elliott and then skated away. Blaine smiled and began slowly skating in order to warm up his body on the ice.

* * *

Back when he'd been at Dalton, he'd lived in this dormitory set-up in a large house close to the ice rink. It had been nice but kind of crowded. He also suspected that the set-up had made the boys of the Dalton Skating Club too friendly with each other to be able to properly compete and push each other. Well, except for Sebastian.

Here he lived in a small apartment, sharing it with a guy called Sam who was an ice-hockey player with the Titans, the ice-hockey team at McKinley. Despite being a hockey player Sam seemed to be a decent guy who didn't have the slightest problem with Blaine being gay. They were even quick to discover their mutual love for superhero movies and in the short time Blaine had been living there, had watched together all the Iron Man movies and The Avengers.

There was another reason why Sam seemed to warm up to Blaine rather quickly. Sam wasn't dumb or anything like that but his thought processes seemed to happen mostly outside of the box.

"So, do you think it's safe to look at a picture of the sun? I mean, like a photo that has been taken directly of the sun?"

"Blaine, what do you think would happen if Batman got bitten by a vampire?"

And when it came to the skating, Sam was very confused. Especially about how the American-born Tina and the Chinese Mike could be skating for South Korea. Blaine tried his best to explain how Tina was of Korean descent and the Korean Skating Union wanted to back an ice dancing team but had no viable ice dancers in South Korea so they’d sought out Tina and found her a partner who had promptly come into possession of a Korean passport.

"But does that mean that I have to play hockey for from wherever my ancestors came from?"

"What, Sam, no. It just means that sometimes athletes change citizenship to better their chances. I can promise you that you can keep on competing for the Titans and possibly for the US national team if you prove yourself good enough. And besides, Tina could have said no and tried her chances competing for the USA but there are so many more ice dancing teams here that she probably wouldn't be able to compete as much internationally and that is what we all want."

Sam looked somewhat appeased for now but Blaine mentally prepared himself for getting woken up one night with the suggestion that he could skate for the Philippines.

* * *

Blaine hadn't been at McKinley for very long before he realized he’d made the right move despite Kurt still being rather stand-offish towards him.

At a typical session where they had to share the ice, each kept to their own end of the rink, except of course when they had to practice elements that needed more ice coverage. It proved rather educational for Blaine to watch Kurt do his thing. While they were quite different as skaters, Blaine benefited from seeing how Kurt did his transitions, and his edge work was something to behold. If this was how Kurt would be skating in competition, his PCS would all be in the nines. On the other hand, there were technical elements which Blaine was inherently better at than Kurt. While Kurt had beautiful jumps when he landed them, he could merely muster a quad toe. It was a pretty quad toe, which on a good day he could do in a combination, but compared to Blaine's very consistent quad toe and the quad flip which was becoming more consistent every day, it was obvious which of the two of them was the jumper.

There was always a swell of pride in Blaine's chest when he managed to land his flip in front of Kurt. Not that he was trying to one-up him but ultimately they would end up competing against each other. If everything would go according to plan they would meet in Kyoto at the Grand Prix Final and if not, there would of course be Nationals.

They had both decided not to compete at any of the international competitions outside of the Grand Prix Circuit. In Blaine's case, he wanted to concentrate on adjusting to his new club and coaches, plus Skate America was the first event of the Grand Prix schedule, so anything else would probably distract him and make him more tired. He didn't ask Kurt why he hadn't gone to the Finlandia Trophy or the Nebelhorn Trophy like some of their training mates had. Maybe it had to do with how erratic Kurt's international career had been. At this point in time it would be a complete disaster if Kurt didn't win a competition like the Nebelhorn. Skating scores weren't only determined by how well one skated at any given time but also by one's reputation, and at the moment Kurt was considered a bit of a headcase internationally. For instance, Blaine hadn't heard a single person mention the Olympics to Kurt. Not that Blaine would have liked to have been reminded of something like that himself. Placing 19th at the Winter Olympics for someone of Kurt's calibre was an unmitigated catastrophe.

The week before he had to leave for Skate America, an interviewer from Icenetwork came by to talk to Blaine, Rachel and Elliott. The interviewer watched them on the ice and a cameraman filmed them training, but then there were the interviews themselves which the interviewer wanted to conduct rinkside.

The interviewer was in her late forties, full of nostalgia for the time when figure skating actually received some proper ratings on TV, and therefore tried to focus on her interviewees' personal stories. Not that there was much need to sensationalize anything regarding Rachel Berry, though in the end, after the interviewer had gone on and on about how tragic Finn Hudson's death had been and how brave Rachel was to continue, Elliott stepped in and plainly explained to the interviewer that now he and Rachel were trying to focus on what was ahead and they were a team now. It was obvious that the interviewer wanted to ask them if they were romantically involved but Elliott's manner seemed prevent her from that.

When it was Blaine's turn, he couldn't help but notice that Kurt was kind of loitering about on the ice, not doing much, like he was trying to listen in.

The first questions were mostly the standard questions about his training and then a few about the move from Dalton to McKinley but then the interviewer wanted the personal spin.

"So, Blaine, do you have a girlfriend?"

Blaine hoped that his blushing wasn’t too obvious on camera. As much as he wanted to correct her and tell her she should be asking him about boyfriends, he couldn't.

"No, I'm afraid I'm way too busy for all that. The training takes up so much of my time."

"Oh, I bet there are more than a few ladies who would put up with that for a chance with a handsome fellow like you."

Not knowing how to respond that, Blaine looked away, only to see Kurt skate away from them, looking none too happy. Blaine had no idea what that could be about.

* * *

Skate America wasn't all that eventful, despite Blaine managing to get the silver. He was also glad that his short program was well-received. The rules had been changed for this season and now all the disciplines were allowed to use music with sung vocals for their competitive programs. Blaine had decided that he wanted to try that out, though he chose to only use vocals for his short program. He felt that Tom Jones' 'It's Not Unusual' fitted his skating style pretty well but it was brass and boisterous music so who could know whether the judges would like it, but it seemed they didn't dislike it at least. He was in the high eights for interpretation which was the highest he'd ever received for that part of the PSC for a short program.

Rachel and Elliott got the gold and it was only on the flight back that Blaine learned from Elliott that it was Rachel's first Grand Prix gold.

"Really?" Blaine said in a hushed tone to Elliott who had the seat next to him. Rachel was in the aisle seat, fast asleep.

"Yeah. She's never made to the Final. Despite the whole thing of being three-times National Champion and placing fourth at Worlds two years ago."

"Wow, I just... they have been talking about her as this top pairs skater for so many years. Since I was a novice or even before that."

Elliott nodded. But of course some of Rachel's publicity hadn't come about because she was winning all the medals. First, it had been the explosive breaking up of her partnership with Jesse St. James, after he’d yelled at her at a gala show that he didn't want to skate with her anymore because she wanted all the attention for herself, and that had been in front of the press. So it was talked about quite a bit and still was. Scandal never dies.

Then there had been her partnership with Finn Hudson. International success seemed to evade them, except for that fourth place at Worlds two years ago. Then tragedy had struck when Finn had caught acute meningitis and due to having rather recently sustained a head injury on the ice, he was dead within two days. Of course, a story like that became headlines, especially since Rachel and Finn had become romantically involved. What would become of America's sweetheart figure skater? Would she hang up her skates? Those speculations did reveal that the media didn't know Rachel Berry very well. She would never give up like that.

Finn's death meant that she’d had to sit out the Olympics, as she had only partnered up with Elliott a month before Nationals and they were nowhere near being ready for an international competition then, especially not the biggest competition of them all.

"So you reckon that you'll do well this year?" Blaine dared to ask.

"I hope so," said Elliott. "Rachel is the best partner I've had by miles. And even if it's constant drama being around her, I try my best not to let it get to me. Yoga does wonders for that."

"But you and her...?" Blaine knew he was prying but the rumor was that not only had Rachel been involved with Finn but also Jesse before him.

"Me and her what? That's not going to happen. She's too female for me." Elliott said that like there was nothing to it and Blaine didn't respond at first. Okay, so maybe Elliott was out to friends and such and felt comfortable telling acquaintances like Blaine, but still, if asked publicly, he probably would be as coy as Blaine tended to be.

"So you are gay?" Blaine asked, after several seconds of silence.

"Yup," said Elliott and smiled. "Been with my boyfriend for two years now. Living with him for six months or so."

"Okay," Blaine said, the urge to fiddle with the reading material in the seat pocket in front of him too strong to resist.

"Wait, you don't have a problem with that... I mean, you kind of have been pinging my radar."

"Oh, uhm... yeah, no, no problem... I... just...." Blaine was sure his face was blazing red by now, he could feel how the blood was rushing upwards.

"Sorry, mate. I didn't mean to embarrass you. It doesn't matter to me really if you are gay, gay in the closet or straight or bi or whatever... I mean, this would always been just between you and me." Elliott gently touched Blaine's forearm, obviously wanting to reassure him. There was no need to hide from Elliott, he wasn't the skating association or some dried-up, conservative judge with sensibilities best kept in the Victorian era.

"Yeah, I'm gay. I just don't talk about it much."

"Hmm, that's understandable. I guess us pairs guys have it a bit easier than you singles guys. Less pressure and all that, as long as we’re good partners and have a good chemistry. You are scrutinized for every sequence and every move that isn't a quad."

Blaine murmured his agreement. He couldn't say that he'd ever been told to macho up as a skater but the pressure was there always, from his costume designs to the music people recommended he'd skate to. When he was a kid, his dad had usually been more in favor of him skating to rock music or the more bombastic sort of classical music, plus keep telling him to toughen up when he fell on the ice and hurt himself. Sometimes, his brother would be set up as an example of how to behave but Blaine never really understood that, as Cooper was a skier.

No one had ever told him directly to "man up" or anything like that, and at Dalton, most of the guys had known he was gay. But the pressure was definitely there and maybe it manifested itself the strongest in how the media talked about Kurt. "… more interested in frou-frou costumes than to better his jumps... Tchaikovsky's Sleeping Beauty isn't the sort of music you'd expect a male skater to skate to... the majority of Hummel's points often stem from his level four spins where he literally is as limber as the female skaters..."

As reluctant as Blaine was to admit it, he would prefer if the media refrained from talking about him and his skating like they talked about Kurt's skating, even if Kurt was one of his biggest skating role models.

* * *

The next weeks went by in a flurry of activity. When Blaine arrived back after Skate America, Kurt had left for Skate Canada so that week Blaine got a lot of solo time on the ice with Coach Sylvester as Coach Schuester had gone to Canada with Kurt. That helped him a lot, so much so that he was pretty sure he could add the quad flip to his long program which was set to the ballet arrangement of Gershwin's 'An American In Paris'. Blaine had decided on the music himself. He had planned to pick a song from one of his favorite musicals but as he sat and watched the movie version, the elaborate dance number in the movie inspired him. He had actually gotten together with Brittany, one of the main choreographers at McKinley to create the program even before Schuester had approached him.

Then it was suddenly time for China. He was the only one of the McKinley figure skaters who had been assigned to the Cup of China and neither Sue nor Schuester could make it with him, not with Rachel and Elliott and Tina and Mike going to the Rostelecom Cup, and then Kurt the weekend after that to the Trophée Eric Bombard, but instead Brittany came with him. It was weird to travel without a coach but it wasn't unheard of. In many ways, it was nice to have Brittany with him. She wasn't psyching him out on his skating technique. Sometimes she talked about cats, or she would talk about her theories on why the government was secretly hoarding purple crayons.

Shanghai was scary, loud, and smelly but maybe because of that, Blaine managed to concentrate hard on his skating, even though it was his first time in China and only his second time in Asia. He had to medal so he would have a mostly guaranteed ticket to the Grand Prix Final.

The quad flip, with a score of almost two for grade of execution, was what won him the gold. And perhaps the fact that his closest competitor had an awful long program and managed to fall on his triple axel and single out something that appeared to have been a triple lutz – triple toe combination.

Returning from China, he entered the McKinley Skating Club, expecting to get solo ice time with everyone else still in Europe but as he was removing his skate guards to enter the ice, someone cleared their throat near him.

"Hey, short stack, weren't you at Dalton? What are you doing here?" It was Santana Lopez. Blaine didn't know her that well. At one point, they’d competed together at some junior competitions and they had both been in the same ice show in Japan. She competed for Mexico, though she wasn't really a medal contender despite being a good enough skater. It might have something to do with her penchant for doing her exhibition programs to uncensored Nicki Minaj songs.

"I needed a change of scenery," Blaine said as he stepped onto the ice. "What are you doing here?"

"I bet you needed the change. I bet Hummel is a lot nicer to look at than those pimply Dalton boys." Santana said, completely ignoring his question.

"She's here visiting me." Brittany appeared from where she'd been crouching behind the rink boards.

"Yup, we go way back." Santana said.

Before becoming a choreographer at a pretty young age, Brittany had been a skater herself but after being moderately successful as a 14 and 15 year old, she had decided she didn't want to compete anymore. She simply wanted to create beauty, was how she put it herself. Which was something she was really good at because Blaine had liked the program she'd created for him, and what he'd seen of her programs for Kurt, and Rachel and Elliott, it appeared that Brittany knew what she was doing.

"So, ever the Jumping Shrimp, Blaine? Or have you started to care about your PCS?"

"What do you mean, Santana?" Blaine asked as he started to warm up.

"I mean, do transitions still scare you or have you become a watchable skater? I seriously am so bored with quads and more quads. That's why Hummel has been the only watchable male skater for years."

"I don't..." Blaine didn't want to be rude but he struggled to see why Santana's opinion should matter that much to him.

"Go on, skate for me. And don't do your competitive programs. Your gala thing, please."

Blaine harrumphed. It wasn't exactly what he had come to practice, seeing how he had used the same program for more than a year. He took his phone and plugged it into the rink stereo.

So Wham!'s 'Wake Me Up Before You Go Go' started blaring over the ice and Blaine psyched himself into the high-energy routine, full of jumps and Russian splits and even one backflip. As he was starting to gain the momentum needed for his backflip, Santana strode - as well as a person can in skate - to where the phone was hooked up and pulled the plug.

"Seriously, that was awful. I'm surprised that people haven't pelted you with rotten fruit for that."

Blaine stood in the middle of the ice, not knowing what to say. What had Santana been expecting and why on earth did he care what she thought?

"I mean, I don't know how your competitive programs look but you need to skate from the heart at some point, boy. To be truthful, I'm not sure if you're the sort of skater who can skate from the heart when competing. It doesn't suit everyone. Mostly it suits Elsa Hummel alone. But you should consider it for your exhibition program."

The rest of the day Blaine tried to figure out what she could have meant but then again, that might just have been Santana Lopez's way to psych him out. Why, he didn't know, they didn't compete against each other, but she did have strange hobbies.

* * *

Soon the others started to return to the rink, some having had great success like Kurt who had earned himself two Gold Grand Prix medals and had a guaranteed spot at the Final, while some had less success, like Rachel and Elliott. It didn't take long until everyone was refraining from mentioning the Grand Prix around Rachel. It was all about Nationals for her now.

Both Kurt and Blaine had a Grand Prix Final to train for, though, and to spare Rachel's feelings, the boys had most of their training sessions together. This new frequency of their joint training sessions didn't seem to sit very well with Kurt.

He would come onto the ice, hardly say hello to anyone, warm up and then do a run-through of one of his routines, usually technically perfect but lacking in spirit.

"Okay, Porcelain, it wouldn’t kill you to look alive. In fact, I think you'd look more alive if I'd kill you and then reanimate you like a zombie. I was almost a voudou priestess, you know, but coaching skaters pays better." It could never be said about Sue Sylvester that she didn't try to bring out the best in her skaters, though perhaps her motivational talks might be somewhat unorthodox.

Despite Sue being on his case, all Kurt responded with was a glare that rivaled that of Medusa. Blaine would even try to stop looking at him if it was in any way possible. But Kurt always pulled focus.

One day after watching Kurt go through his beautiful long program to the Barbra Streisand version of 'As We Never Said Goodbye' from Sunset Boulevard - rather unusual for a 20 year old male but it suited Kurt very well - Blaine wondered if he should try to clear the air. It was understandable that Kurt was unhappy that one of his main rivals was skating with him but it had been months now, the Grand Prix Final was only weeks away and in all honesty, Blaine would rather compete against Kurt when Kurt was skating to his full potential instead of going through the motions.

They were in the locker room, stripping off their training gear. Neither of them liked to shower at the rink, mostly due to the water pressure being abysmal, but it was too cold to go home in sweat-soaked clothes.

"Kurt, I don't know how to ask this properly so I'm just going to say this and hope I won't offend you." Blaine twisted his hands in the t-shirt he'd just taken off.

There was no direct reply. All the answer Kurt gave was a sharp intake of breath through his nose but that was enough for Blaine to know that he had his attention.

"I... I don't know whether it's my presence that is affecting your skating, I mean, it didn't at first, but now... and I don't want to be the cause of you doing badly. Sure, we are going to compete at the Final and at Nationals but I want you to be at your best so I think we need to solve this, somehow." He didn't dare to look directly at Kurt but watched him from the corner of his eye. Kurt wasn't looking directly at him either but from the way he clenched his hands, it was obvious that he'd heard everything Blaine had been saying.

"It doesn't have that much to do with you, not really. It's kind of mostly what a judge said to me in passing at Trophée Éric Bombard. That I needed to macho up and that I wasn't supposed to flaunt myself like that on the ice. It just... I suppose you, like everyone else, just sees that I'm gay and... I guess I need to hide it more or something." Kurt's usually mellifluous voice was hollow and flat.

Among the myriad things that were swirling around in Blaine's head, the first, loud thought that struck him was the notion that the judges would actually be so outright with their homophobia. The conservatism of the skating world wasn't something that had escaped him, but to him, it was always implied but never spoken outright.

"A judge said that to you... as in, someone who was judging your skating?"

"I doubt I would have won the gold if that had been the case, even if he'd only been one of nine judges. I think he was there to judge the pairs but... I don't expect you to understand."

"I wouldn't understand what? They may never have asked me to macho up or anything but... " But Kurt didn't allow Blaine to finish.

"Of course they don't need to ask you to macho you. You can have your pick of girls, you are a dreamboat on the ice, with your flirty Tom Jones and Gene Kelly shtick." The tone of Kurt's voice had hardened.

"Well, I don't want a pick of girls and I have my shtick because I can't be an artist like you – entertaining is what I have to use to make my skating stand apart." Blaine couldn't help the flare of anger inside him. Kurt may have said that it wasn't about him but it sure sounded like Kurt was harboring a good deal of resentment.

"What good does being an artist do if they don't want that part of your skating? I want to express who I am through my skating and I'm sorry, I'm just so gay that I can't skate. Whoopee!"

"Were you butching it up at Skate Canada and in France? I mean, you won the gold."

"No, I skated my programs like I want to skate them... they are quite personal after all and honestly, I don't really want to skate them if I can't be me."

"Honestly, I think you should skate them like you want to skate them. Who cares what the judges think about whom you like to sleep with... or not? You are a brilliant skater, don't forget that." Blaine turned to look at Kurt who was looking at him back.

"Yeah, I suppose that's true. Anyways, why do they care? It's not like I've slept with anyone at all. I don't really understand it. I'm me and I’d like them to respect that." A spark that had been missing from Kurt's eyes seemed to be rekindling.

"Yeah, I mean, I'm gay and I don't really hide it. I mean, I don't go around and announce that I find Tom Hardy hot but I don't deny it either."

Kurt's eyebrows furrowed and a frown appeared on his lips.

"But when you were on that interview with Icenetwork and she asked you about girls throwing themselves at you, you didn't say anything."

"Heh, that was a rinkside interview. Yeah, I wasn't really keen on explaining myself in that."

"Point taken," Kurt said, his features a little more relaxed. "This coming-out business is just confusing. You are damned either way, or in my case, you're just damned because some people are narrow minded and stupid. But by the way, I had no idea you were gay."

Blaine shrugged. He didn't really want to apologize for not having told Kurt but he did regret it a little, now. Maybe they could have gotten off to a better start.

"Well, you know now. And that I like Tom Hardy." He took a deep breath and reached out for Kurt's hand. A look of confusion flew over Kurt's face but he allowed Blaine to hold his hand.

"Please promise me that you'll skate with your spirit and your passion in Kyoto. I really want that, almost as much as I want a medal for myself."

He could swear that Kurt blushed a little.

* * *

That little locker room conversation seemed to have transformed Blaine's relationship with Kurt. He was now greeted with a smiling hello everyday, and after each joint session, Kurt would always have time to chat with him.

He'd never resented Kurt for his standoffishness but it was so indefinitely nicer to have him as a friend.

"So, you still have your 'Wake Me Up' exhibition routine going?" Kurt asked, about a week before they were to leave for Japan, as they were getting their skates off in the locker room.

"Uhm, well, kind of," Blaine answered. He had considered what Santana had said and had found some music he'd like to skate to. He was very drawn to John Legend's 'All Of Me' but he hadn't had the time to have anything choreographed. It was usually much easier to choreograph exhibition routines, since there were no compulsory elements to include nor the Code of Points to consider, but one still had to have a general idea what one was doing on the ice at an exhibition gala.

"Kind of?" Kurt seemed curious.

"Yeah, I've had it for more than a year and I would like to change it. I just don't know..."

"'Wake Me Up' is terribly cute and all but it's a bit like the image you present to the world."

Blaine sat up straighter on the bench, feeling like his stomach was about to do a turn.

"What do you mean?"

"Ever the entertainer, the happy-go-lucky guy with hardly any substance... please don't take this badly."

"Uh..." Blaine didn't know what to say or how ot to take this badly, just when he’d thought that Kurt was warming up to him.

"Sorry, sorry," Kurt pleaded, "what I'm trying to say is, I think you could show more of the real you on the ice. The person who has feelings and thoughts and depth and caring... I hope you know what I mean."

"I'm trying my best not to be offended, Kurt, but what do you suggest I skate to then?"

"Gosh, sorry, sorry. I’m talking like you’re some two-bit skater and not someone who could actually beat me both in Japan and at Nationals. I just... I would love to see you skate an emotional program. Use music that speaks to you and interpret it. I'm not saying that 'Wake Me Up Before You Go Go' can't speak to you, but I'm certain that there's music that you connect with on a more emotional level." Kurt had scooted closer to him, not touching him but looking at him with an obvious plea in his eyes. Blaine got that Kurt didn't mean to offend him but he still felt upset. After all, he put on a persona on the ice. He'd never expected anyone to want to see Blaine Devon Anderson, the person, skate. They wanted the ice skater who put on a smile and charmed everyone. They wanted to watch him skate, admire his technique and skill, and have a smile on their face afterwards. They weren't expecting any real emotion to be awakened. That sort of skating belonged to the likes of Kurt himself.

That didn't mean that Blaine hadn't thought about skating like Kurt, even before Santana's _suggestion_.

"We'll see what I can come up with," he said, his voice muffled a little, like he had a lump in his throat. A bright smile appeared on Kurt's face and that lump felt more like a warm glow in his chest.

* * *

Blaine had been to Japan before but he was definitely eager to return. It had been quite the experience for a wide-eyed fifteen year old but his parents had been accompanying him and since they had been rather freaked out by the alien language and customs, they didn't really do much besides travel between the ice rink where he was competing and the hotel they were staying at. But the little he'd seen from the bus window had made him want to see more.

The long flight landed in the morning local time, which meant he slept fitfully on the plane, waking up only an hour before landing. He was groggy when they navigated the air terminal to find the bus that was supposed to take them to their hotel in Kyoto.

He understood that Kyoto was a beautiful city, steeped in the rich history and culture of Japan, but he didn't really register much of that on their drive there, the sleep always claiming him every other minute, only for him to jerk awake the next, unsure and confused by his surroundings. It didn't look like Kurt was faring much better, he seemed just as confounded as Blaine.

Soon they arrived at the hotel where they were granted a merciful few hours of sleep before they were supposed to be at the rink for the first practice session. Their competitors were there but Blaine knew that he couldn't allow himself to do much more than acknowledge them. Wondering too much about who was there and what their abilities were would most likely lead him to a failure. He had to keep his mind in the game: it was him who would go out onto the ice in two days to skate and there was no one, except for himself, who would miss his jumps for him, fall or fail in any other way.

The day before the men were due to compete with their short program, Kurt and Blaine had their session early in the morning and were done before noon. They knew that if they simply went back to the hotel and napped, they might throw their biological clocks off completely and make the jet lag worse, which was something that would not further their chances in the competition the next day.

Surprising Blaine a little, Kurt suggested they'd go sightseeing.

"I've never been to Kyoto before. Been to Japan plenty but never Kyoto."

Blaine was eager, wanting to see more as well. And having Kurt ask him felt thrilling in a way that felt more significant than if a casual friend would have asked him. It felt more private.

Kyoto was the city of temples so they headed to the eastern hills to explore temples with slanted roofs and dragon statues and elaborate details. When Blaine suggested they'd look at the bus schedule, Kurt shook his head.

"That is all and well when you have all the time in the world and energy to spare. I think we should take a taxi."

"But... my Japanese is pretty much limited to konnichiwa and arigato gozaimasu."

"Lucky for you that you're with me then," Kurt said, smiling impishly.

It turned out that Kurt was fluent enough in Japanese for them to end up in the right part of the city. The environment was breathtaking, despite it being winter and kind of dreary. Everything was wet and cold but it still possessed this dignity that was rather alien to Blaine's eyes. They didn't plan on seeing a lot. Kurt suggested that they could see a couple of temples, explore one and then walk to another before heading back to the hotel.

Blaine wasn't a particularly spiritual fellow but sitting on the deck of a temple building, bundled up in his hat and a scarf, next to Kurt, overlooking a zen garden with perfectly formed rows of white gravel, there was a stirring in his chest. Maybe not a belief as such but a feeling that he did possess something more than his body.

"I could sit here forever," he whispered to Kurt who didn't say anything but touched his shoulder and kept his hand there like he wanted to anchor them to that spot.

What finally drove them to move and get going, was Blaine's loud stomach rumblings. They walked down from the woodland hills where the temples were situated, down quaint cobbled stone streets and found themselves a small restaurant, a so-called shokudo, where Blaine had a beef dish with rice which despite its simplicity, was rather delicious. He had been rather hesitant to go inside the restaurant as the menu was only in Japanese and there weren't even plastic replicas of the dishes to guide him but Kurt assured him that he would help him order something that wasn’t too foreign to Blaine's palate.

"Are you nervous?" Kurt asked, as he was wrapping soba noodles around his chopsticks.

"You mean for tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know. I mean, I can't complain, this is my first senior Grand Prix season and I think I'm doing pretty well, being in the final and all. I think I do have the normal nerves, you know, that stress you need to do well but even if I end up being last and falling all over the place and all, it's not going to be that horrible. 'Cause you know, it's the Final." It was honestly the first time in the whole trip where Blaine realized that he was pretty chill, even if he should probably be freaking out because the Grand Prix Final was actually a big deal.

"I would say lucky you because I think people are expecting me to be beside myself with nerves, 'Got so much to prove' and all that crap, but I think everyone expects me to fail. I mean, the Olympics? But I'm strangely calm. I don't know."

Blaine nodded, he could see that Kurt was being truthful. And he couldn't wait to see him skate. Normally he wasn't all too keen on watching his competition but luckily he was ahead of Kurt in the starting order the next day and would be able to see him skate his short. He'd seen most of it in practice but it was never the same as seeing it on the ice, at a competition, complete with the costume.

* * *

The jet lag was still bothering Blaine when they headed out to the rink the next morning. He felt disorientated and fuzzy. It was a bit worrying but there wasn't much he could do, all he could do was to skate through the routine.

Maybe that was why he skated through his short program with hardly any thought other than what came next in his routine. His head went from the quad toe – triple loop combination to the triple axel and the spin combination and then the triple flip with the transitions to the circular step sequence and the flying spin to the sit spin at the end. He found himself after the two minutes and fifty seconds, standing in the middle of the ice, quite dazed. All he knew was that he hadn't fallen down on any element or missed any, but whether his quad had been fully rotated or not or if he'd landed the lutz on the right edge, he was not sure. Normally he kind of knew whether he'd managed to get all the elements properly.

The score wasn't too bad, 83.75. It was his season's best and he couldn't really ask for more.

Now all he had to do was to wait and see how the skaters after him would fare, including Kurt.

Seeing a routine in competition was always so different from seeing them in another setting, so when the first notes of Muse's 'Undisclosed Desires' sounded over the ice and Kurt moved from his starting pose, Blaine almost held his breath. The opening quad toe was a thing of beauty and every element was precise and elegant. He even made his sit spin in the shoot-the-duck position look graceful but it was the straight-line step-sequence that was the star of the program. It obviously was what Blaine had seen Kurt be practicing when he first arrived at McKinley. Full of tango-like steps, almost like he was tangoing with someone. He would sway back like someone was leading him in the tango and then take strong step forward like he was leading. As he struck the final pose, it dawned on Blaine what that program was about. It wasn't an excuse to skate to a favorite song like most of the skaters had done now they were able to pick music with vocals.

Kurt was airing his frustration of not speaking up about his sexuality in his routine. Hell, Kurt was calling out the figure skating world for being so heteronormative in his routine. That was how Blaine was seeing it and he didn't want to see it any other way. Standing underneath the stands, watching one of the screens there, he wanted to shout 'hell yeah!' 

His elation over Kurt's program hadn't diminished as he watched Kurt in the kiss-and-cry. He seemed composed but visibly tired, perspiration shining on his forehead. He whipped it off with a tissue and whispered something to Coach Schuester who sat next to him.

Blaine knew that Kurt's score had to be higher than his, if only for the technical content. His spins were definitely all a level four, not to mention the intricacy of the transitions and the moves-in-the-field. The uncertainty factor was the Program Components. Maybe they would reward Kurt for his superior skating skills but maybe they wouldn't appreciate what Kurt was telling them.

So 86.25 wasn't exactly the score Blaine had thought he would see for Kurt. Sure, it was higher than his but a part of the judges were most likely offended and were dragging Kurt's average down.

* * *

At dinner, back at the hotel, Kurt was a little subdued. Blaine didn't bring anything up there as he wasn't sure what Kurt was ready divulge in front of their coaches.

Kurt wanted to go to bed early and Blaine followed him, claiming he wanted to retire early as well. He didn't say anything as he entered the elevator with Kurt, but as Kurt's room wasn't on the same floor as Blaine's he exited the elevator with Kurt and said:

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah, sure," Kurt replied.

"I just... your short program... it was... it was everything." Blaine wanted to take Kurt's hand but didn't because Kurt looked a little taken aback.

"Okay... but you have seen me skate this so often."

"Never in competition. I purposely don't watch any of the Grand Prix series until it's over, you know? But I was thinking more of how you skated this, being true to you. Just not giving a fuck, excuse my language, about whether the judges would be clutching their pearls or not. Being the best skater you can be and just putting your heart out on the ice."

Kurt smiled at Blaine's enthusiasm, the sort of smile that reached his eyes, making the corners crinkle in a manner that Blaine couldn't describe as anything other than cute.

"Thank you. It means a lot coming from you."

"You think you'll be as grateful tomorrow if I beat you in the free?" Blaine couldn't help but add in a playful tone.

"Ho ho, which one of us has won the Final before?"

"I got two quads, you don't."

"Shut your mouth, Anderson!" Kurt said in mock rage, sneakily extending his arm to tickle Blaine.

"Oh, it's on!" Blaine shouted before retaliating.

* * *

The free went by in a blur but Blaine was a little surer on how he'd done when he left the ice after this routine than he’d been after the short. He’d double-footed his landing on the quad flip and gone with a double toe in the combination after his triple salchow, instead of a triple toe. He had been the third to skate and his score got him to first place but it was likely that the three skaters after him would score higher than him, including Kurt.

Again he waited under the stands to watch Kurt skate. His long program felt more internal than the short. It showcased all of Kurt's strengths as a skater, his athleticism and his artistry and he looked a vision in his mostly black costume that emphasized his long lines. The music was clearly expressed in every movement but it did feel like he was watching a private moment.

When it came to the scoring, the judges seemed to feel a little more favorable towards Kurt, awarding him with 193.34 points which got him the gold medal.

And at that point Blaine realized he'd been caring more about Kurt getting the gold than about his own scores.

* * *

The realization of caring more about Kurt doing well than himself doing well was still with Blaine a couple of days later when they were rehearsing for the final gala, though at least it hadn't driven him into an existential crisis over whether he had lost his competitive edge. He had never had high hopes of medaling at the Grand Prix Final as he had benefitted from not having so steep a competition at the Grand Prix competitions he had been assigned to.

No, this realization was about something deep that had more to do with him and Kurt personally, rather than their skating.

Blaine was pretty certain he knew what it was and that made his stomach tingle. Not in an unpleasant way but it did make him a little uneasy. What the sort of a guy fell for his training mate and competitor? It almost felt like a cliché from a romantic comedy. It was one thing to think Kurt was hot and rather ridiculously pretty but having feelings for him was a whole different beast.

He had packed the shorts and the neon-colored polo that was his costume for the 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go' number but he also had a pair of slacks, a white dress shirt and a tailored jacket that he could wear, should he instead skate to 'All Of Me'. He had gotten together with Brittany twice to figure out a routine. They hadn't really nailed it down yet, but at the moment, what was bubbling inside of him wanted him to skate to 'All Of Me'. He would get no emotional release skating to 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go' but half-assed routine or not, 'All Of Me' was more likely to enable him to emote on the ice.

Competition galas didn't really offer much when it came to the group numbers, mostly because they were usually held a few hours after the last competition was held. This time around, they were supposed to skate around the ice in a row and then form circles around the gold medalists who were supposed to do their thing for a bit and that was it. It wasn't terribly hard but people still had to learn where their place was and get the time at least half way right.

Blaine left the decision about his routine until the last minute when he had to hand over the music he was skating to. Heading into the changing rooms, he saw Kurt was already there, in front of a mirror applying make-up. He was dressed in a tailsuit waistcoat and pants which were very normal looking. One leg was the traditional black but the other was white. Then Kurt turned from the mirror and Blaine could see his face better. A half of his face had full make-up on, eyeshadow, eyebrows done, blush, everything and on the other half of his face was painted a thin black mustache on his upper lip. It looked really cool and Blaine was very intrigued to see what the routine would look like. Kurt was obviously not in full costume yet, the tailsuit jacket was missing.

Seeing how he'd been fourth, he was amongst the first out on the ice. Those who didn't medal at the Grand Prix final didn't always get to skate in the gala but this time around, all the competitors in fourth place had been invited.

Slicking his hair back and trying to tame his unruly curls, he looked in the mirror. He wasn't displeased with what he saw. The white shirt was tucked in, the jacket was buttoned. He was ready to skate to some John Legend.

He and Brittany had choreographed some moves. In this program he jumped around much less than he had done in his old show routine. There was more interpretation, more using his face other than putting on a big smile, and way more connecting to the lyrics.

When he initially thought of the song he had been thinking about it being about skating but it wasn't the sport of figure skating he was thinking of when he moved his body around, trying to make the words come alive.

_Love your curves and all your edges  
All your perfect imperfections_

As much as that applied to the sport, all he could see in his mind's eye was Kurt. Kurt on the ice, Kurt being brave, Kurt in all his glory.

The emotional connection felt hard, like everyone in the audience could sense his thoughts and feelings but at the same time, it was freeing, like everything he liked to stash inside was flying free over the ice. It had been so long since he had felt that free on the ice, like he was flying and he could hear that the audience liked it. They always cheered for him before but they seemed to know that they were seeing something special. Blaine Anderson coming into his own.

When the routine was over along with the applause, he stepped off the ice and went backstage where he was met by Kurt who was wearing a wry smile on his face.

"That was something. I didn't know you had changed your routine."

Blaine was going to reply but the words caught in his throat as he took in the vision that was Kurt in his full costume. His hair slicked back, half his face made up like a woman and half made up like a man and the tailsuit, now complete with a jacket that was half traditional black and half white and sequenced with this long fringe hanging from the sleeve. He looked like the world's most enticing dichotomy.

It turned out he was skating to 'Le Jazz Hot' from Victor/Victoria. That explained the fringe on the sleeve and it was obvious that the theme of the routine was inspired by the movie, a bit of gender-bending, and so of course he included moves that were more common to see a female skater do.

And again Blaine was struck by how brave Kurt really was.

Afterward, Blaine didn't really get a chance to catch up with Kurt. There were costumes to take off, sweat to shower off and then a gala dinner to prepare for.

It was held at the hotel they were staying at. A great feast, with mostly Japanese food but also some things Blaine was a little more used to, though he found most of the Japanese food rather delicious.

These occasions were usually a happy fare where the skaters were dressed in their finest and less pre-occupied with competing against each other than usual. Blaine was seated with a Chinese pair and a Russian female skater and they had a lot to talk about. As the evening went on and the dinner was over, Blaine mingled a little more until he found himself at the table where Kurt was sitting.

"Hey, you," he said, looking at Kurt who was looking extra handsome in a printed jacket, dark pants and a blue tie.

Kurt smiled and pulled out the chair next to him for Blaine to sit on.

"Hey yourself."

"I know I've already congratulated you on the gold but I kind of want to congratulate you again."

"Thank you, again. I, on the other hand, want to tell you how much I liked your exhibition routine. It was a change for you, I must say."

"Yeah, it was. Let's just say that people were encouraging me to be more emotive in my routines and that I was inspired." Blaine turned his head; it felt hard to look directly at Kurt.

"Oh, what inspired you?" The question was honest enough but giving Kurt the truest answer wasn't something Blaine was prepared to do.

"Uhm, just figure skating in general and... someone I like."

"Oh," Kurt said, looking down and then back at Blaine, his voice trembling ever so slightly. "Lucky them."

They weren't sitting alone at the table but the other people sitting there were deeply engaged in a conversation, talking in rapid French. And now it was apparently time for Blaine to be brave and probably stupid. Most definitely stupid because this had the potential to go so very wrong but he couldn't stand to even think of hurting Kurt and right now he was looking a little hurt, his eyes sad and his lovely lips were curving downwards.

"It's you," Blaine dared to breathe. Kurt's eyes widened and his face froze, then he furrowed his brows.

"Don't make fun of me," he said, his voice sounding fragile, yet rough, obviously so close to breaking.

"I'm not, really, I'm not." Blaine felt panicked and all he could think of to do before Kurt could burst into tears or worse, punch him, was to take his hand and pull him up with him to drag him somewhere private. Kurt didn't struggle but he kept silent as Blaine pushed them between the tables and through the people standing around, until they had left the banquet hall where the gala dinner was being held and found themselves in a deserted hallway.

"What's going on?" Kurt asked when they stopped and were sure that no one would be listening to them.

"There's nothing going on, Kurt. I'm telling the truth here. I like you. It's probably very foolish of me to fall for you, since you’re my training mate and my competitor and maybe this will fuck everything up but... I can't lie to you and pretend that I wasn't thinking of you when I was skating earlier." Blaine felt breathless, even though he hadn't been during his skate, his stomach was a tingling mess and he wasn't sure whether he wanted to cry, laugh or vomit.

Kurt stood there for a minute, his face unreadable, as stony as it had ever been, but then he took a step forward, so he was standing face to face with Blaine. The next thing Blaine knew were Kurt's hands cradling his face and he was kissing him. Kurt's lips felt soft and the kiss tender. All coherent thought drained away from Blaine and all he could do, all he wanted to do, was to grab onto the lapels of Kurt's jacket and kiss him back.

It wasn't Blaine's first kiss but it was the first time he was kissing someone he truly liked, loved, even though he hadn't given any words to the particular feeling, not even inside his own head. It did feel like a first kiss, like all the other kisses he'd had were pale imitations.

After an undetermined time period - time had pretty much stopped existing in Blaine's mind - Kurt pulled away, and there was a flicker in his eyes, something that looked too much like uncertainty for Blaine's taste.

"I... I don't know what came over me," Kurt whispered, clenching his hands at his sides like he wanted to apologize. Blaine reached out for Kurt's hand and touched it in what he hoped was a reassuring manner.

"Don't... I like it. I... I would like to kiss you again." With that, Blaine was the one who reached to touch Kurt's face and then to kiss him. He didn't want to spook Kurt, who seemed jittery enough already, but he couldn't help but open his mouth a little to deepen the kiss and was rewarded with Kurt deepening the kiss even more, his tongue lapping at Blaine's lips.

When they broke the kiss, Blaine found himself slightly winded and his heart beating inside his chest like he'd just finished a short program at least.

"Well," Kurt said, the nervousness dissipating from his features, replaced by mischief glinting in his eyes and a playful smile on his lips, "that was something. I kind of don't want to stop but... " He stopped mid-sentence and looked away, coyly.

What he'd left unsaid wasn't lost on Blaine. More kissing and it would turn too heated, too much, too soon.

"Yeah," Blaine said, "but can I kiss you some other time? Can I take you out when we’re back home?"

"Oh, you better, Anderson," Kurt said, shaking his fist in a mock rage. "Or I'll kick your ass wearing my skates."

* * *

Blaine had never taken anyone out on a date before. He had known it might be nerve-wracking but he hadn't anticipated the sweaty palms and the nausea. It wasn't like it was a blind date or anything like that: he knew Kurt, he knew kissing Kurt was beyond awesome. It shouldn't be this hard. They had agreed to go and see a movie and then have something to eat. Their schedule didn't allow for much dallying. Nationals were in a month and that was probably going to be a tougher competition, as not only would they be competing for the National title but also the two spots that were open for the World Championships.

Kurt came to pick him up, since between the two of them, he was the one who had a car. Blaine lived close enough to the ice rink to walk there. It wasn't that much farther off to where Kurt lived but he said he liked having a car and the freedom that came with it. It was also possible that the fact Kurt's father was an auto-mechanic might have something to do with Kurt having a car.

The movie was entertaining enough but somewhere in the middle of it, Kurt reached over to Blaine and took his hand. It was an innocent enough gesture but Blaine was unable to follow the rest of the movie.

Seeing how they were in the middle of their competitive season, they went somewhere where they could have something relatively healthy. Kurt ended up with a grilled chicken breast while Blaine ate some spicy shrimp salad. They kept up an idle conversation to begin with; discussing skating gossip and trading stories about other skaters.

"I try my best to see the best in people," Kurt said, stabbing a cherry tomato on his plate with a fork. "But I can't stand Jean-Baptiste."

The Jean-Baptiste in question was the reigning Olympic champion in Men's Figure Skating. The Canadian Quad Machine he was called in the press. There were always murmurs amongst the other skaters that the judges were perhaps a little too favorable towards Jean-Baptiste. Blaine had never competed against him, he’d hardly even met the guy. Jean-Baptiste had skipped out on the Grand Prix series this season, something that only an injured skater or an Olympic champion could really do, but he was bound to try and win his fourth consecutive World title the coming spring.

Kurt, on the other hand, was more closely acquainted with Jean-Baptiste.

"I mean, he had always been full of himself, known exactly how good he is and all that. I'm used to that. I mean, I've shared ice with Rachel Berry for years. But god, those few days I had to stick around after the men's event at the Olympics. Basically he stopped just short of literally rubbing his gold medal in my face. Don't you remember his interviews afterward? 'Oh, as we clearly saw during my event, the Olympics are only for those who can withstand the pressure. Honestly, I think some of my competitors should probably think twice about retirement. They just aren't skating on the same level as us medalists...' Ugh, I could puke."

Blaine had witnessed those interviews but hadn't really made the connection that he had been talking about those skaters who had been considered medal contenders before the Olympics, like Kurt. And now he didn't care for Jean-Baptiste one bit.

Thankfully the conversation segued into something more pleasant than rival skaters. They talked about music, movies and what they wanted to do when their competitive careers were over.

"I think I might like to go into fashion," Kurt said. "I've even wondered if I should start taking some classes but I think I need to keep my mind on one subject, not be all over the place."

Blaine nodded. He hadn't really decided. He had his high school diploma, not much of it earned by attending classes. Of course he had given thought to attending college but when he wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his life, he wasn't going to waste time on that. He could see himself as a coach, maybe not an elite coach like Sue and Schuester, he'd rather work with kids.

After the date, Kurt drove Blaine home. He’d intended to give Kurt a quick good night kiss but his good intentions didn't really have much sway over his hormones when Kurt pulled him closer, as close as they could be, reaching each other between the seats in the front of the car, over the transmission. It was all still so new between them and Blaine felt his inexperience keenly but he couldn't stop. How could someone's mouth be so wonderful?

They finally ended the kiss, maybe because the position they were in started to become very uncomfortable. Kurt's face was flushed and his eyes were shining and Blaine was sure he looked pretty much the same. They stared at each other for a moment, a secret little smile on Kurt's lips that Blaine was sure he was mirroring.

"Why can't I be kissing you always?" Kurt said, a sigh in his voice.

"Hhm, not sure. I know I wouldn't mind it at all."

They broke out in giggles and Blaine had to fight a strong urge to reach back over to the driver's seat to kiss Kurt some more.

"Okay, next time...?" Kurt looked over at Blaine who was quick to nod enthusiastically. "I think we should be somewhere we can make out. Wanna come over to my place tomorrow and watch a movie?" The way he said 'watch a movie' sounded like the most suggestive thing in the world to Blaine. Kurt's plan had to be the best plan in the world.

* * *

The days that were left before Christmas went by very quickly. Hours upon hours of skating every day for both Kurt and Blaine and then movie and TV watching in the evening that usually turned quickly into make-out sessions. They were still rather respectful of each other, hardly venturing with their hands south of the equator.

"So, what are you doing for Christmas?" Kurt asked Blaine a few days before Christmas, as they were leaving the ice rink after a training session. Blaine didn't really have any plans. His parents were spending time with his brother in Colorado and due to his training, Blaine couldn't take the time to meet them there. Sam was going to see his family so Blaine had vague plans about watching movies and training.

"Nothing, except you know, hit the ice."

"Oh, not meeting your family?"

"No," Blaine said. "They have to divide the attention between me and Cooper and Cooper is currently working in Colorado and it's kind of far to go and meet them there."

"Uhm, my Dad is coming to visit me. I was wondering, you can join us on Christmas Eve. I mean, no need for you to be alone. I'd love to have you." Kurt turned towards Blaine, adjusting the scarf Blaine was wearing.

"I'd love to."

* * *

He had seen Burt Hummel before, from a distance at Nationals last year, and of course, a shot of him teary-eyed in the stands after Kurt's disastrous free skate at the Olympics had made it to the sports pages of newspapers around the world. The man in the flesh wasn't the stereotypical skating parent, obsessed with the minutest details of their child's training, appearance and so on. He was a laid-back guy who kind of fitted that Joe Plumber stereotype, just without the Republican rhetoric.

"I think I remember you, kid," Burt said when Kurt introduced Blaine to him. "What was that program you did at Nationals for the long? West Side Story, right? Looking very much the part of Tony there in your jacket."

Blaine nodded. He had liked his long program last year but he equally loved his long this year, though he had shied away from using lyrics even if he could. Maybe next year - and maybe next year he might venture outside of his musical comfort zone.

"You know, I think Kurt here might have talked a little bit about you then. I don't know why." Burt had just the same sort of wry smile as Kurt tended to have. Kurt was definitely not sporting one now, his cheeks were bright pink and under his breath he said "Dad!" in a chastising tone.

Hanging out with the Hummels on Christmas Eve ended up being one of the nicest Christmases Blaine had ever had, or at least since he stopped believing in Santa Claus. He and Kurt had agreed not to exchange gifts since they didn't really have any time to go shopping except for groceries.

* * *

Kurt invited Blaine over on Christmas Day after Burt had left. They ate the leftovers of the Christmas lunch Kurt had made earlier that day and then they’d intended to watch 'White Christmas' but never got so far as to put the DVD into the player.

It began like most of their make-out sessions, where they slowly moved into a horizontal position on Kurt's couch (sometimes it was Blaine's couch), but this time around shirts were being pulled up and hands touching skin they hadn't previously touched.

Blaine was in actual awe of how soft Kurt's skin felt underneath his shirt, all smooth and lovely and Kurt seemed like touching Blaine back, so much that he pushed himself up, straddling Blaine's leg and asked:

"Can we... you know... take our shirts off?"

At that moment, Blaine felt like that was the best request in the universe and when Kurt took off his shirt, Blaine knew it was the best request in the world. He had seen Kurt shirtless plenty of times but to feel his skin against his, that didn't compare.

After just a few minutes of exploring hands, Blaine could feel himself grow hard. It wasn't the first time it happened while they were making out, but now that they had gone one step further he wasn't really sure what they should do. If they didn’t stop now, Kurt was bound to notice and Blaine didn't want to push him or make him feel pressured. A part of him wanted to allow things to go further, see what happened, wanted them to explore each other completely, but this was still so new for them both and it was fragile.

So he tried to shift and move away but Kurt always followed his movements, always pulling him closer when Blaine tried to maneuver his hips away. It kept getting harder and harder for Blaine to conceal his hard-on.

"Kurt," he whispered when Kurt was holding him by the waist, clutching him.

"Please," murmured Kurt and shifted just a little and then Blaine discovered that he wasn't the only one who had gotten hard. Kurt's erection was pressed to his thigh and Blaine could feel his mouth dry up. He wanted to believe that he was more in control of himself than he was, but he couldn't help but push into Kurt, slotting his thigh better between Kurt's legs and just moving, rubbing against him, feeling the friction, feeling the tension build. Kurt was making these little noises like his breath was hitching with every move and Blaine couldn't help but bury his face in the crook of Kurt's neck, feeling the urgency in every bit of his body. For a moment, everything in him felt so much like it did when he was in the air, doing a jump on the ice, the coiled tension of his body in motion before slamming into the hard ice.

Then he came, his body growing taut and his vision whiting out. It was intense and he was probably holding Kurt way too tight but he had to hold him, otherwise it felt like he would drift away. Kurt wasn't far behind him; his climax came with a squeaky sort of a moan that Blaine would find adorable if his brain hadn't just been fried.

When their breathing had evened out, Blaine pushed himself off Kurt.

“I’m… we are doing more and... shouldn't we talk before we go any further?"

Kurt didn't answer right away and started busying himself with cleaning them up. Then he sighed.

"We should. And I know... I want to try it all, frotting, well, I suppose we did that just now, but there's naked frottage, blowjobs, anal. But don't feel like I'm pushing you. I can wait and if you never want to do it, then it's fine by me. I mean, we should both be comfortable."

"Yeah," Blaine breathed. "I don't want you to feel pressured or anything and yeah, I like that you want to wait for me as well."

* * *

The thing about waiting is that it usually means that there is something that can't happen right away because there are certain impediments in place.

Both Kurt and Blaine wanted more. Those first mutual orgasms had opened up a floodgate. When they weren't on the ice, and they were there a lot since Nationals were just around the corner, they were in each other's beds, hands and mouths exploring.

On New Year's Eve they left a party at Elliott's early, before they could end up actually doing something in front of their friends and training mates that they probably wouldn't want to see.

So they found themselves on Kurt's bed.

"How do you want to celebrate the New Year?" Blaine said, leaning on his arm, looking at Kurt.

"I don't know, maybe with your mouth."

Blaine laughed. It did feel a bit ridiculous to talk about their desires but they tried not to be too self-conscious about it. After all, both of them performed in front of thousands of people, literally risking their asses doing so.

"I think I might be able to fulfill your request," Blaine said, before getting up on his hands and knees and lifting himself over Kurt's body.

He loved the wiry leanness of the body underneath him. Those few inches that Kurt had on him in height made so much difference in their build. Every line on Kurt's body looked impossibly long while he himself was compact and solid.

Peppering the skin of the body underneath him with kisses, he moved further down. He kissed down Kurt's sternum, his flat and hard stomach, that lovely fold of muscle over his hipbones. Kurt was making these impatient grunts and Blaine knew why. He had learned quickly enough that Kurt had many sensitive spots on his body, making it so easy to really turn him on.

"Blaine, please."

As nice it could be to hear Kurt beg, Blaine didn't want to make him suffer and the suffering could be ended by him having his mouth on Kurt's cock.

This was Blaine's second attempt at a blowjob. The first one had been successful in that Kurt came in under a minute, but unsuccessful in that most of his come got into Blaine's eyes.

This time he was hoping it would last a bit longer because he really liked giving one. Maybe that was because it was Kurt who was receiving or maybe he liked it in general, not that he intended to bestow blowjobs on other guys in the near future or anything. The feel of Kurt hard in his mouth was one of the best things he'd ever experienced and he loved how every lick, every movement of his tongue and mouth elicited a reaction from Kurt, whether it was a moan or the trembling of his body. And this time around Kurt managed to double the time he could withstand the pleasure that Blaine was giving him. This time Blaine was careful not to pull off when Kurt climaxed, it was hard to swallow but he managed.

"Wow," Kurt said, sounding absolutely done when Blaine moved to lie besides him. "I seriously get why people are so obsessed with sex."

"Mmm," was the best reply Blaine could muster. He hadn't come yet but he was so close after giving Kurt head.

"Oh, poor baby, we need to do something about this," Kurt said, noticing Blaine's predicament.

Kurt's solution to the problem at hand was to push Blaine to his back and make him spread his legs before taking his dick in his hand, stroking him slowly while rubbing spit-wet fingers over Blaine's perineum. It was like Kurt had found a magic button. Blaine had done plenty of self-exploring in that area of his body but feeling Kurt's fingers there was a whole different story.

So different that Kurt didn't get that much chance to move his fingers further before Blaine was coming hard over Kurt's hand and over his own stomach.

"Okay," Kurt said laughing.

Blaine kind of wanted to apologize but the neurotransmitters in his brain were rather overloaded at the moment.

Soon enough, he found his way back to earth, back to Kurt who was lying besides him, smiling while trying to mop up most of the come with a tissue.

"Our stamina might need some work," he said. Blaine turned to face him more.

"Oh, I suppose we can work on that together."

"That's going to be one project I’ll very much look forward to." Kurt said, before pulling Blaine into a kiss.

* * *

Only three weeks after the New Year, Blaine and Kurt were to compete in The U.S. Figure Skating Championships or Nationals like the Championships were usually referred to, and the training was definitely picking up a notch. Every evening they dragged themselves exhausted from the skating rink, too tired for anything more than a goodbye kiss.

"You know, I think we should room together at Nationals," Kurt suggested a week before they were to leave. Blaine looked at him; they were in the locker room, alone thankfully, after a rather rigorous training session where Coach Sue had not seen any reason to spare them.

"I know what you’re thinking, we have other things to think about than, you know, sex, but I kind of want you with me, whether we are going to celebrate or you know, cry over our losses. I think we'll manage to keep our hands off each other until after the long program, right?"

"I think so," Blaine said.

"Good," Kurt said, the smile on his face a little shy. "There's another thing I want to talk to you about. 'Cause it does concern you."

"Okay?"

"I'm... If I manage to hold on to my Nationals title, let's pretend for a moment that you aren't a serious threat to that, I want to come out. I mean, I want to come out publicly. I know it's the biggest cliché in the world... I suppose I should have before the Olympics but I wasn't sure enough of myself, but this year, and you, have made me stronger and I want to do this, let everyone know."

Blaine just stared. There was nothing he wanted more than for the whole world to see just how brave Kurt was. But if Kurt was to out himself, then did that mean their relationship would become public as well?

Somehow Kurt must have read that concern on his face, realizing exactly what Blaine was thinking.

"I don't necessarily have to mention you, I just want to be out and put an end to all the veiled speculation, plus you know, giving the naysayers the finger."

Blaine snickered, even though he knew so well what Kurt meant.

"But I wasn't planning on mentioning us, I mean, not unless you want me to." Kurt looked at him and Blaine could see that Kurt was afraid he might be hurting him.

"I don't want to hide it, you know," Blaine said, "but this is so new between us. I think we need a little more time before we start telling the world. I don't know what time frame one should use but maybe we should try to finish out this season?"

Kurt nodded and reached over to take Blaine's hand.

"Thank you."

It did sound like Kurt had wanted to say something else that also ended in 'you'.

* * *

The media was a little less interested in the Nationals, those years when there were no Winter Olympics, and Blaine was kind of glad. There were a few sportscasters milling about with a handful of other journalists but for the most part, the publicity part of the experience was relatively hassle-free. Kurt had given a couple of interviews where they brought up the Olympics, but for the most part he'd been a trooper in answering those questions and being the Grand Prix champion did help him a lot.

No, the hassle wasn't coming from the media. The Nationals brought Blaine together with his former training mates at Dalton. Most of them were friendly and ready to congratulate him on his Grand Prix successes but then there was Sebastian.

It would have been too much to say that Sebastian had been Blaine's enemy or anything of that sort, but Sebastian's style of competing did involve psyching out the competition and during their time at Dalton together, they had been at odds.

Blaine had always tried his best to ignore Sebastian but his little quips could be hard to ignore.

Like when he and Kurt arrived to the first official training session. Those were always rather tedious since they were more for the benefit of the media and the few fans who bothered to show up so early. Normally not much was accomplished unless you were the sort of athlete who lived for psyching out the competition.

"Oh, isn't it Headcase Hummel and Average Anderson?" Sebastian was standing at the boards like he had been waiting for them.

Kurt didn't say anything, didn't even acknowledge Sebastian but skated onto the ice. Blaine, on the other hand, was probably fatally polite and felt he had to greet his former training mate even though he had just insulted him.

"Sebastian," he said, curtly.

"Aww, where's the love, Blaine? Or have you been learning the ways of the ice queen there?" Sebastian nicked his head in the direction of where Kurt was skating on the ice, looking like he wanted to land his triple axel on someone’s head.

"I see you haven't changed," Blaine said, getting ready to skate onto the ice and twirl around for the photographers present.

"That's where you're wrong. While you were wasting time on flying to the far corners of the World to compete at some competitions no one cares about, at least not the federation, I was training hard to get my quads under control. I want the gold, Anderson."

Blaine wanted to come up with a witty retort but he wasn't there to have Sebastian rile him up. So instead he skated onto the ice without a word. Sebastian was clearly annoyed with the fact that he couldn't get to Blaine with his words so he tried his best to interrupt Blaine's training session by skating too close to him and around him.

It was impossible to ignore him completely though Blaine tried his best, but the anger kept building inside of him. He knew in his heart he was a better skater than Sebastian and he knew that all this was just Sebastian knowing that and trying desperately to cover for that fact. Blaine wanted to show him that no matter how much time Sebastian would spend 'perfecting his quad', he didn't have a quad flip like him. He glided straight down the ice, held his right foot forward, turned and vaulted into the jump, rotating four times in the air before landing, correct edge and all.

What he couldn't see while in the air was Sebastian skating towards him, probably hoping that his being there would fib Blaine's landing. What happened instead was that Blaine's momentum after landing the jump had him crashing straight into Sebastian, causing them both to fall onto the ice.

The fall didn't hurt as much as it knocked the wind out of Blaine, so it took him a moment to get upright next to a huffing Sebastian. The collision and the fall had obviously drawn the attention of the other skaters who had stopped what they were doing, and Kurt came rushing towards them.

"Are you okay, Blaine?" he asked, a worrying tone clear in his voice as he reached out his hand for Blaine to take and get completely back on his feet.

"Yeah, yeah," said Blaine, he wasn't hurting but he needed to shake the fall off.

"Wait, wait." Sebastian looked between them. "Don't tell me. You two?" He looked absolutely incredulous.

"Sometimes people help each other," Kurt said, "it's called being a human being, Smythe." He managed to make Sebastian's last name sound like the filthiest word he knew.

* * *

_Tension is mounting here at the US Figure Skating Championship. In a moment, the men's short program event will commence and it will be interesting to see who will come on top. Then we will find out in two days time who will be the champion. The scores from the short program will factor into the total score so even though the skaters won't win the event with their performance here, they need to do well if they want to win. The competition is steep, especially since the USA only has two places in the World Championship this year. The obvious frontrunner is Kurt Hummel, reigning National Champion who won the Grand Prix final only last month, but his catastrophic performance at the Winter Olympics a year ago can't be forgotten. Hummel is known to break under stress and there are new heirs apparent to the throne of National Champion. Blaine Anderson is certainly the sputnik this season. His first senior season, a new skating club, which incidentally is McKinley where Kurt is also training, and he had a gold and a silver at his Grand Prix events and then came in fourth in the Grand Prix Final. We can expect great things from this young man. He's the only skater here who has two quads in his arsenal._

_So if Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson skate well, they should be number one and two and be the ones to represent USA at Worlds in China in March, though let's not discount skaters like Sebastian Smythe, who may lack international experience and credentials, but cleaned up the competition at Sectionals and Regionals._

_Whatever will happen, we can be sure to be in for an exciting event._

* * *

So Blaine's landing of his quad toe ended up a little double-footed. Still, he wasn't too disappointed with his score. He was second after Kurt who had skated so well. That short program routine of his might actually become one of those celebrated routines that would set a gold standard. Blaine hadn't told Kurt that in so many words, mostly because it wasn't up to him alone but he just knew.

Though there was the fact that even though Kurt and Blaine were first and second, Sebastian was third and had what could be called a fighting chance of winning either the gold or the silver. Blaine just had to hope that Kurt would skate his long as beautifully as he'd been skating it and that he himself would land his quad flip properly, and of course skate the rest well.

Standing rink side, waiting for all the other skaters to finish their stuff, was always nerve-wracking but right now, the tension was almost too much for Blaine. He was skating second to last and then Kurt would skate last.

They waited rink side while Sebastian skated. Blaine didn't want to look and he would have preferred not hear the crowd, the music, or the sounds of Sebastian's skates hitting the ice. He tried his best to focus and keep his head in the game. Kurt was standing close and he was acutely aware of his presence but they didn't speak.

Then Sebastian finished his free skate and left the ice and it was time for Blaine to go out and warm up while they were calculating Sebastian's score. As he stood in the gate, taking his guards off, Kurt walked up to him, reached out and squeezed his hand. He didn't say anything, he didn't have to, Blaine knew what he meant.

He skated around the ice for a few minutes, warming up, as a group of little kids skated around him to pick up the flowers and the tchotchkes that the audience had thrown onto the ice.

Then there was time for him to get in position. He breathed in, his music started and he skated.

Some five odd minutes later, when he found himself in the kiss-and-cry, it almost felt like he didn't know where he'd landed. He had skated, that much he knew. He had landed all his jumps fine, he had executed all his spins, transitions and moves, so he couldn't have done too badly, but again he had no concept of how it would translate into a score. He just sat there and listened to the roar of the audience. Schuester was sitting next to him and saying something but Blaine couldn't hear because all he could hear was the chanting of the crowd as they cheered Kurt on while he was warming up on the ice. That chant of Kurt's name felt familiar to him, like it was his own heartbeat.

Blaine's score came, placing him above Sebastian, which was good, but now Kurt had to do his thing. There were screens in the holding area Blaine had been ushered into after getting his scores but he couldn't look. Kurt would probably do fabulously but on the odd chance he didn’t, Blaine knew he wouldn't be able to stand it. Sebastian was there as well, looking not too happy about being scored lower than Blaine. Not that Blaine registered his presence there: all he could think of was Kurt and that Kurt would do well on the ice.

Those had to be the longest five minutes of Blaine's life but the loud roar that erupted the moment Kurt should have finished his program gave him hope. Sebastian, on the other hand, looked even more sour, like he had just tasted the world's most bitter lemon.

It didn't feel horrible to be looking up at the monitor showing where Kurt was sitting in the kiss-and-cry with Coach Sue. Blaine could happily focus on Kurt's beautiful face, especially since he looked rather happy with his own performance.

As it turned out, Kurt had every right to be happy because he’d managed to score his season’s best and hold onto his National title. Blaine just about managed not to jump with joy when the score was announced, but he was allowed to look a little pleased, seeing how he had won the silver.

When Kurt came through as they were preparing the ice for the medal ceremony, Blaine couldn't help but go and give him a hug. It wasn't so unusual for competitors to congratulate each other. No one would take much note of it.

"So me and you and Worlds, huh?" Kurt said, in a low voice, when they let go off each other.

"Looks like it."

* * *

"So I have Kurt Hummel here with me, the newly crowned National Figure Skating Champion for the second time. How does it feel to have your second National title?"

[The camera cut to Kurt, wearing his gold medal.] "It feels great. I've been training hard and focusing so this is certainly a great pay-off for all the hard work."

"Do you feel you've redeemed yourself for what happened at the Olympics?"

[A grimace passed over Kurt's face before he answered.] "I don't know if I think of it as redemption. I'm reaping now what I've sowed. That is really all I can say. Sure, we can all agree that I didn't handle the pressure at the Olympics but I think I'm in a much better mental state now than I was at the Olympics."

"And why are you in this better state of mind?"

[Kurt inhaled, looking like he was steeling himself for something.] "I was more honest with myself, I put more of myself into my programs and mostly I didn't allow the expectations of others to hinder me."

"So what is so much more personal in your programs?"

"Well, a lot of things. My long program is very much about my love for the sport. The short is perhaps more of a statement."

"Oh, a statement? Of what, then?"

"My sexuality. I'm gay, I've never said it out loud publicly until now, but I doubt that anyone is surprised."

[Kurt paused but the interviewer didn't seem to have a reply or a question ready so Kurt went on.]

"I mean, I've been discouraged from being myself, told that I was too girly or too something else. No one has ever said that I was too gay but I guess that was always implied and I hate it. I hate being pressured to hide who I am, having to pretend that I'm this sexless being who isn't allowed to desire. Skating is about passion. In both pairs and ice dancing, the subject of the programs is often sexual desire and sometimes this echoes in the singles as well. However, it's always about the desire between a man and a woman but that doesn't speak so much to me as a gay man. I want to be able to give an interpretation in my skate of my desires and wanting."

* * *

The day had already been long and eventful but they still had the gala left. Blaine did envy the skaters from the other disciplines who got to rest at least a day before the gala. Yet he wasn't tired, he just wanted some quiet time, preferably cuddling with Kurt. He was pretty sure that Kurt felt the same, especially in light of the fact that he had just come out on national television and then had to speak to the other media that were there. Apparently, a lot of the news stations, magazines and websites that hadn’t been at the event were calling now, but between Coach Sue, Kurt's publicists and his dad, those were being taken care of. Kurt would probably have to give some interviews in the near future but Blaine was glad he didn't have to do anymore today.

Blaine was skating to 'All Of Me' again. Going on the epiphany he’d had when he skated it in Japan, he wanted to add one move, a homage to Kurt. Maybe he had originally wanted the routine to be about his love of skating, but now, even just thinking about it, all he could feel was Kurt. It should have scared him that his feelings for Kurt were this intense but somehow they filled him with certainty.

So when he slid into Kurt's signature move, that backwards bend with one leg extended in front of him, the only thought filling his mind was _I love you, Kurt Hummel._

* * *

It was pretty late when Blaine finally found himself alone with Kurt that night. They had left the celebratory dinner and were heading to their respective rooms.

"Blaine," Kurt began as they waited for the elevator. "This is going to sound so stupidly forward and all but uhm, would you like to spend the night with me?"

Seeing as how anyone could have seen them there, Blaine didn't grab Kurt right away to kiss him but gave him a fairly enthusiastic nod instead.

Inside the elevator, Kurt took his hand and gave him a glance, making something swoop in Blaine's stomach and fill him with the knowledge that they would be experiencing a first together.

In all his fantasies, Blaine hadn't imagined this happening in a hotel room but reality was never the same as the fantasies and the white crisp linen on Kurt's bed was as good a place as any to make love for the first time.

Kurt was standing on the other side of the bed, unbuttoning the sleeves of his shirt, his head turned down like he was too shy to look at Blaine. He didn't want that, he didn't want Kurt to feel shy. He wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible. Here they were together, taking this giant leap in their relationship and their lives.

"C'mere," Blaine whispered as Kurt was starting to unfasten the buttons on the front of his shirt. Kurt looked up, his eyes filled with an uncertainty that Blaine hadn't seen in a long time. With his hands still on the shirt front, Kurt walked over.

"Hey, are you scared?" Blaine lifted Kurt's chin up with one finger, looking him in the eyes.

"Yeah, I suppose I am."

"We don't have to..."

"Blaine, I want to. So much. And this is the perfect moment. At least for now. We have the entire night to ourselves and I love you, I love you so much. But I don't know what I'm doing." Kurt's eyes were wet and he was still clutching his hands to his chest. Hearing Kurt's words, hearing that he loved him made Blaine tingle all over. He had known instinctively that Kurt must feel the same about him and now he wanted even more to show Kurt that he loved him.

"You know that I don't know what I'm doing either. But I know I love you, so much, and I know I want you." Taking Kurt's hands into his, Blaine leaned forward to capture Kurt's lips in a kiss. Maybe he’d meant it to be chaste and to calm Kurt's nerves and his own as well, but at that moment his body, and Kurt's as well, wanted to express those feelings they had just professed to each other. The kiss deepened and Blaine wasn't sure who had initiated that or who had first began to undress the other. All he knew was that they were frantically undressing each other. He was now topless and so was Kurt, their shirts lying in a heap on the floor and they were both trying their best to rid the other of their pants. When they were down to their underwear, they didn't even hesitate. Feeling Kurt's naked body against his felt right to Blaine, and yet he wanted more. The bed beckoned. Pulling on Kurt, he made himself fall onto the bed, and Kurt followed, managing to brace himself so he wouldn't crush Blaine.

With their hands and mouths they explored each other without any direction. One moment Blaine was licking down Kurt's throat and the next he was trailing his lips down his stomach. One moment Kurt's hands were on Blaine's shoulders and the next he was cupping his ass. They were both hard but for the moment their erections weren't playing a major role. First, they wanted to enjoy each other and the parts of each other they had gotten familiar with over the last few weeks.

Soon Kurt grew impatient though, rubbing himself against Blaine.

"I want... Blaine... more." He sounded short of breath, squirming as he half-laid on top of Blaine.

"Yeah?" Blaine's voice was little more than a croak.

"Yeah, I want you. Inside."

They hadn't discussed in so many words how it would go when and if they would cross this threshold. Blaine saw that Kurt had come prepared; there was lube on the nightstand and a box of condoms. The reality of the situation washed over him, making him shiver a little. Kurt was expecting him to finger him open; Kurt was trusting him not to hurt him.

"Okay," he whispered and turned them around so Kurt was lying flat on his back. "How should we do this? Like this or do you want to turn around?"

Despite the semi-darkness, the only source of light being a couple of small lamps on a dresser on the other side of the room, Blaine could see the blue in Kurt's eyes clearly and he hoped that Kurt wanted them face to face. Not that the other way around wouldn't be hot, but for this, he wanted to see Kurt's face.

"Like this," Kurt said as he reached out for a pillow to put underneath him, raising his hips. He spread his legs and pulled Blaine so he would be on top of him. They kissed a bit more, then Blaine pushed himself up, kneeling between Kurt's spread legs.

In theory, he knew what he was supposed to do. He had to stretch Kurt, finger him open so he wouldn't hurt him, but his fingers were trembling when he coated them with the lube. When he touched the smooth skin between Kurt's scrotum and his anus, his fingers slipped. It took a deep breath for him to steady his hand so he could push with one finger. Kurt's muscles resisted at first but he persisted and kept pushing.

"Are you okay?" He asked Kurt before inserting another finger.

"Yeah," Kurt breathed, his voice rough. "Keep going."

When he had three fingers inside Kurt, Kurt had moved his hand to touch himself. Seeing that and his three fingers inside of Kurt made him realize how close he was, without even touching.

"Can I?" He asked. Kurt nodded as he reached for the condom and handed it to Blaine.

He had practiced this on himself before so he didn’t fumble with rolling it on. It probably was for the best because he wasn't going to last for very long.

It took a bit of maneuvering to get themselves into a position so Blaine could push into Kurt and he had to go slowly. He couldn't help but squeeze his eyes shut while he was moving, listening to the sounds Kurt was making. It wasn't until he bottomed out that he opened them again. Kurt was looking up at him, his eyes looking a little wet but on his lips, a smile flickered.

"Okay?" He managed to ask, his voice unrecognizable.

"Yeah, yeah." Kurt's voice sounded muffled. "Just... so full."

Blaine wanted to give Kurt more time but his body was screaming at him to move so he did. He wasn't thrusting hard but every move had Kurt grunting and it sounded more like distress than pleasure.

Moving his hand down between them, he felt that Kurt's erection had waned.

"Kurt?" He tried again.

"It's okay. Move, please, and kiss me."

So he lowered himself to kiss Kurt who kissed him hard back. The kiss was what told him that Kurt didn't want him to stop though he was obviously feeling pain. He kept kissing him as he kept moving and through his orgasm that wrecked his body just a minute later.

Trying his best not to crush Kurt, he moved off him to discard the condom. Then he raised himself to his elbow and brushed the hair that had fallen onto Kurt's sweaty forehead.

"I'm sorry," was all he could think of saying.

"Don't you dare," Kurt said, his voice low, almost a growl, "don't be sorry. This was perfect."

"But..." Blaine began.

"I love you, you love me. This was perfect. Even though it hurt."

Blaine kissed Kurt and then pulled back.

"I don't want to hurt you. Never."

Kurt smiled and reached to pull Blaine into a cuddle.

"I think unfortunately that is inevitable and is going to remain inevitable. I think relationships just work like that. But you can make this up to me but maybe not right now. I'm kind of tired."

Blaine replied by snuggling into Kurt, turning his face into Kurt's neck.

* * *

It was Blaine's phone that woke him up. He'd only been asleep for a couple of hours, judging by the time on his phone’s display. What had woken him up was a message. It was from Santana. He remembered her giving him her number but they had never texted before.

_Short stuff, you should check this out._ There was a link to a youtube video and mindlessly Blaine opened it.

It was from the TV coverage of the competition. Retired skating legends, Shelby Corcoran and April Rhodes were sitting on a set with some sports anchor whose name Blaine couldn't remember at the moment. They seemed to be talking about the highlights of the competition.

"While the competitive programs were good and our chances at Worlds for a medal should be good, especially in pairs and men's, the gala was the true highlight." April Rhodes clasped her hands around her knee.

"I agree, April. Not only are they elite athletes but the current generation of skaters are excellent performers. I was quite taken with the men. Kurt Hummel's number, with him skating as if he were two people, one more feminine and the other more masculine. It was quite something, especially in light of his interview after his win, where he came out as a gay man. And we can also see this reflected in his competitive programs. The masculinity of his short program and the vulnerability in the free. And I think in the tango in the short, he's obviously portraying a dance between two men." While Shelby's tone remained neutral, there was no mistaking that she was impressed by Kurt.

"And let's not forget Blaine Anderson and how we saw him skate as himself in the gala instead of the personas he normally takes on. That was some lovely interpretation we saw and I didn't realize how appropriate 'All Of Me' is for a skating routine, you know, when the lyrics say 'all your curves and your edges'."

"And it's obvious about whom that program is. Did you notice that slide, identical to Kurt Hummel's signature move? I wonder whether we are going to have another announcement?"

"You are not saying... Shelby. Are you saying that Blaine Anderson could be gay? But..."

"April, both you and I know there's pressure on figure skaters to fit a certain mold and uphold preconceived ideas about femininity and masculinity. I'm not saying anything because the only person who can tell us is Blaine Anderson himself but if my hunch is correct, I wish nothing more for him than to follow Hummel's lead. Being true to oneself is a powerful thing and I'm sure that it will only make him a better skater. Also I think the skating establishment needs to get on with the times."

The clip ended there.

Slowly, Blaine let his hand holding the phone fall to the bed. He didn't know what to think. They had discussed this. It had felt like such a copycat move for Blaine to come out as well, especially when they weren't really ready to be public as a couple yet. And now? Inevitably he would have reporters asking if Shelby Corcoran had the right idea and he couldn't just deny it or brush it off.

A soft touch to his shoulder startled him out of his reverie. Kurt was awake.

"You okay? I think I heard most of what that was." Kurt had propped himself up and was looking at Blaine.

"Yeah, I think so. I just... I think I'll have to say something publicly about this and I... I don't want to lie."

"Of course you shouldn't lie," Kurt said. "I don't want you to lie."

* * *

If they thought the media had been interested in interviewing Kurt after his revelation, Shelby's speculation had put the media into hyper-drive. There had even been paparazzi at the airport. Blaine hadn't really had time to get annoyed with it by the time he was on the plane back, sitting next to Kurt. The two of them hadn't even had time to talk since the whole thing blew up.

They had put together a press release, a very brief one confirming their relationship and stating their wish that they could be left alone as they would both be training for Worlds.

There were a couple of interviews lined up but they had opted out of everything else. Their skating had to come first now.

"We haven't really talked... you know... since the other night," Kurt said.

"Hmmm, yeah."

"I'm slightly worried about you." The concern was obvious in Kurt's voice.

"Worried about me? I'm worried about you. Are you still sore? I wasn't... you weren't supposed to be in pain." Blaine turned towards Kurt though the airplane seat made it a little hard.

"Blaine, the first time hurts for most people. I was ready for that. And okay, I'm still a bit sore but I wouldn't want to change that for the world. I told you this."

"But..."

"You owe me one orgasm. Don't worry." Kurt smiled and took Blaine's hand in his.

"Okay," Blaine said, owing something like that couldn't be a great hardship. "But us and the training and everything?"

"We've managed so far and I doubt that the media or anyone else will bother us too much. I think they are afraid of Coach Sue."

"I'm afraid of Coach Sue. They should be shitting their pants if they try something."

* * *

_The ice skating love-birds, Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson, will be skating tomorrow in Shanghai, China at the World Figure Skating Championships. They have enjoyed successes at the international level this year and both competed at the Grand Prix Final where Kurt got the gold. Yet this skating season has been marked by the fact that the reigning World Champion and the Olympic Champion from last year in men's singles skating, Jean-Baptiste Pelletier from Canada, didn't participate in the Grand Prix series. The World Championships will be his only international competition where he aims to defend his World title. It remains to be seen whether Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson have the wherewithal to defeat the Canadian Juggernaut of Figure Skating._

* * *

There had been a bit of press that Kurt and Blaine had been obliged to do before going to Worlds and Blaine was getting very fed up with having to answer whether his relationship with Kurt was going to hinder him in skating well, whether he would hold back for Kurt's sake or whether he thought that Kurt would be holding back for him.

At one point he had gotten a little bit testy and implied, rather vaguely though, that he and Kurt intended to skate their best. They did have an uphill battle, especially seeing how the judges might have some antiquated view on same-sex relationships.

But now they were at Worlds and the underlying homophobia of the judges was the least of their problems. Their problem was very real and very French-Canadian. Sebastian Smythe's attempts to psych them out had been peanuts compared to Jean-Baptiste, though he was more subtle than Sebastian in many ways.

When they had arrived and met Jean-Baptiste at the rink, he had looked at them both and greeted Kurt kind of like a relative he didn't want to know. Then he had turned to Blaine.

"So this is Blaine Anderson. I'm looking forward to seeing you out there. Your quad flips are something, though sometimes a bit underrotated, and I'm pretty sure the one at Nationals was actually a lip. You must be in favor with the technical specialists."

It didn't stop. Every time he passed either one of them at the official hotel, at the official rink or one of the training rinks, even at the coffee shop close to the hotel, he’d say something in order to rile them up. It was kind of impossible for either of them to say anything as a come-back, because if they tried to criticize his skating, it would be so easy for Jean-Baptiste to point out that the judges favored him. He had World titles and an Olympic title to back that up.

On the morning of the short program there was a knock on Blaine's hotel room door and it was Kurt.

"I wanted to talk to you before we head out to the rink."

Blaine's stomach sank for a second. Kurt couldn't be breaking up with him, could he?

"Can you promise me something?" Kurt took Blaine's hand. "Can you promise me that you are going to skate like you want to win this thing?"

Blaine didn't say anything. What was he supposed to say? Of course he was going to skate well, he didn't know to do anything else but to skate to the best of his abilities.

"I just... what we have between us is here," Kurt said, taking Blaine's hand to lay it over his heart. "It doesn't affect us on the ice. It only makes us better skaters - it should only make us better skaters."

Blaine nodded, feeling Kurt's heart beating under his hand.

"Okay, I'll do that," he then said.

"Good," was Kurt's reply before he leaned in and kissed Blaine. It was only a peck, yet it was loaded. "I love you, Blaine Anderson."

"I love you too."

* * *

Despite his promise to Kurt and all of his good intentions, Blaine's short program could have gone better. Of all the things that could have gone wrong, it was the triple flip that had brought him down. It hadn't really been a flip, more of a lip as he had landed on the wrong edge. He had gotten -3 across the board in the grade of execution of that plus the jump had been downgraded. It didn't bode well for his long since the flip was his signature jump, his more difficult quad.

Then Jean-Baptiste had to give him grief about it, just a small gesture of touching his lip and winking at Blaine when he passed him after the short program.

So he was down in fifth but he had a chance of a medal if he skated well. Kurt thankfully was in the lead with three points on Jean-Baptiste but rumor had it that Jean-Baptiste had a quad lutz in his arsenal. In his planned technical elements, there was a triple lutz pretty early on and that probably meant that he would replace it with a quad if he felt like it.

It was enough to drive Blaine so mad. How he wanted to beat Jean-Baptiste but all he could rely on was himself. That could be scary sometimes.

The men's long program was scheduled the same day as the pair's long program, but later in the day, so when he and Kurt arrived to the rink to compete, they saw a beaming Rachel, clutching Elliott and a silver medal.

"Let's hope that the McKinley Skating Club is currently in favor, whether it's with the judges or with the universal karma," Kurt said, after having congratulated Rachel and Elliott.

Blaine smiled because Kurt knew as well as he did that it would all come down to themselves in the end. As tempting as it was to trust in some outside element, there was only one thing they could rely on, on the ice, and that was themselves.

They had to deal with a lot of waiting as they were in the last group to skate, due to how highly they’d scored in their short. The order within the group was random, though. Kurt was the second to skate in the group, Blaine the third, and unfortunately it was Jean-Baptiste who was the last to skate. On one hand they would be skating not that long after their warm-up but then they had to wait all that time to see how the chips would finally fall.

After the long wait, it was finally their turn to wait to get on the ice. As Kurt prepared to get onto the ice, Blaine walked over to him and squeezed his hand like Kurt had done for him at Nationals.

"I love you," he whispered. Kurt gave him a smile in return and then skated onto the ice.

Blaine chose to remain rinkside as Kurt skated.

It was always little different to see a skater skate with your own eyes instead of on a screen, filmed by multiple cameras. There was no mistaking the emotion that Kurt put into the interpretation as it came through in his lines and in every tiny little movement. Coach Sue was watching him hawk-eyed, showing no reaction when Kurt completed his elements. Every jump was as pristine as it could be and his spins were almost other-worldly in how Kurt was pulling the audience to him, mesmerizing them.

When he struck the final pose there was a second or so of almost complete silence in the stadium and then a mighty roar of joy erupted. The crowd was ecstatic over Kurt's performance and Blaine was as well but he had to focus on his own skating, as much as he wanted to skate onto the ice right now and kiss Kurt.

As Kurt left the ice, Blaine had to skate onto it and get ready. He wouldn't know Kurt's score but he couldn't imagine that it would be anything but spectacular unless those very conservative looking judges sitting there were unhappy with Kurt coming out. It hadn't reflected in his short program score but there had been some changes in the panel between programs.

Not that Blaine could be wondering so much about that. His name got called and he had to get into position on the ice and get ready to skate.

When he had nailed both his quads - he was actually pretty sure his quad flip had never looked better - he became freer and just threw himself into the elements, feeling like he was flying, which was something he had often felt as a child when skating but rarely felt nowadays.

Stuffed toys and flowers rained onto the ice and he looked up to the stands, waving and smiling at the fanposters and banners that celebrated his and Kurt's relationship. While the judges and the skating establishment might have a problem, the fans certainly didn't.

Those minutes he had to sit in the kiss-and-cry seemed agonizingly long, but when the score came, he was second. As awesome as that sounded, there were three more skaters left to skate, including Jean-Baptiste.

Kurt was sitting in the back, watching the monitor and Blaine slid in next to him.

"You were so good," Kurt whispered to him, obviously not wanting to draw too much attention to them as there were TV cameras around.

"Thank you. You were magnificent."

"I always am."

They sat there in silence, not even discussing the other skaters when the monitor showed the replays. The second-to-last skater, from Japan, managed to knock Blaine down to third place. When his score was displayed on the monitor, Kurt reached out and squeezed his hand.

Then there was time for Jean-Baptiste to strut his stuff. A swell of strings to mark the start of 'Requiem For A Dream' began and Blaine couldn't help but groan. It was a great piece of movie music but it was so overly done that Blaine felt almost sick to his stomach just hearing it.

The first big element was executed perfectly by Jean-Baptiste. Quad toe-triple salchow with a pretty running edge. It felt strange to Blaine to feel so miffed to see an element done well.

Then there was what was supposed to be a triple lutz on paper but could at the moment become a quad. Jean-Baptiste went into a 3 turn as a transition before vaulting himself into the jump but somehow the 3 turn had offset his balance and before he could even finish one rotation, he crashed into the ice.

Blaine could hear Kurt's sharp intake of air. It looked like almost an impossible mistake for Jean-Baptiste to make. He kept on skating but the shiny had left him and when he fell again while going into a flying camel spin, the whole thing was kind of over. It was hard to believe that it was the Olympic champion skating there.

Jean-Baptiste's disastrous skate did mean that Blaine would get the bronze. When Jean-Baptiste's score had been announced and it was clear that Kurt was World Champion and Blaine had gotten the bronze, they turned to each other with equally silly grins on their faces. They would be sharing a podium.

As much as Blaine wanted to kiss Kurt when he walked up to the podium to receive his medal, he didn't. Instead he gave him a lingering hug and then took his hand as soon as he had received his medal and greeted all the skating officials present at the medal ceremony.

* * *

The couple of days that they had before the gala exhibition, Kurt and Blaine spent being silly tourists in Shanghai. They got recognized a few times on the street and that felt kind of surreal but nice.

The gala was a fun affair. The director had some ideas about shaking things up a little, splitting up the pairs and the ice dancing teams for a bit and mixing them with the singles skaters for new pair-ups for the opening number. Which of course meant that there would be no neat pairs or ice dancing tricks, but Blaine got paired with Tina since she and Mike had been fourth in the ice-dancing event and Kurt got paired up with Rachel. The number ended up being kind of off-beat, especially since the audience got a little confused as they had expected to cheer for their favorite pairs, teams and single skaters as they were introduced. Instead the introduction came before each and every one of them skated their routines.

This time around, Blaine allowed himself to get completely caught up in his love for Kurt as he skated to 'All Of Me'. He was sure that he had a silly besotted look on his face but that didn't matter all that much to him because he was feeling every line of the lyrics to that song.

The crowd went wild as he finished the routine and were shouting and clapping like it was a rock concert. Blaine was thrilled with the response but a little baffled why.

Until he felt hands on his shoulders. Turning around, he saw Kurt who was in full make-up for his 'Le Jazz Hot' routine.

"You were magnificent. I love you," Kurt said before kissing Blaine there in the spotlight on ice and the crowd roaring loud as ever around them.

-fin


End file.
